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July 4th, 2008


wampie
12:53 pm - summer vacation!


A week of my summer vacation has passed already, which means, 5 more to go! The best thing about being a teacher I guess, the longass holidays. I'm telling you I needed a break as in the last month every free day I had I fell asleep for afternoon naps and that is just ridiculous. I'll sleep when I'm dead. But yeah it was exhausting, so much stress and activities were planned in the last couple of weeks, Therewere two school parties in a row, one for the whole school and the other for the exam students only. They were themed as well, one was ''fame'' whatever that meant, I just showed up in a suit and the exam party had a ''fantasy'' theme so I dressed up as a pirate. That's right! Har har har!!!

Anyways, it was much fun cos I had to present to do some surveillance stuff, making sure nobody got up to any crazy shenanigans, like sniffing coke....just kidding. This school where I work is one of the cleanest schools (so far) even though the kids are ''out of their mind a-social bastards''. But I didn't get to sleep until 2am or something and I had to go on a school trip to an amusement park with 5 second year classes the day after, which was relaxing in a way, but an 1,5 busride in total with screaming maggots made my head spin. Fun was had though as I went into a rollercoaster called the Goliath which didn't have any looping, so I figured that should make for a relaxing ride, but it was fucking scary!!! : ( I'm such a wimp. Didn't get into many other rides for it was very busy. The whole country decided to plan a schooltrip that day apparently, but not a bad day for getting paid as well. That same week all the grades had to be handed in which freaks everybody out and makes everyone edgy especially during the results meetings on the monday the week after. That was also the day where I met my mentor class for next year. I'll be co-tutoring group 1D and we had a short introductionary day and my co-tutor (a new teacher) was quite alright. The little monsters seemed quite alright, almost sedated. I'm sure that will change next year. 

The rest of the last school week was supposed to be all about preparing for next year but that is just silly to do that all in one week so I didnt'do much and I brought some work home with me which is still lying here untouched. Not sure if I'll get round to that, The last day the whole staff went away for a boat trip to an old island right before Amsterdam where we had to walk through this old defense fortress and answer questions about it and stuff. Not that great but a free beer afterwards made it alright. Then we went to a restaurant for a huge barbecue, so I ate like a king and loaded myself with red wine. A lot of teachers were leaving this year so there were all these melodrama speeches which was moving and made everyone all teary-eyed.

Next weekend Mark and I will be gone for 4 weeks to Vancouver so these first two weeks of my vacation are the only free time I have in which I can do nothing and be lazy and relax. However, with the freaking heatwave that's going on right now, it's less than amusing *insert rant about how I hate my hometown and house etc.* Nevertheless, I try my best to relax and listen to lots of good music, rock out and watc some films. I have to meet up with everyone before I go as well which is fun but can cause unnecessary stress. Anyways, I'm really looking forward to the trip and hanging out with Jo and her friends. I've been planning to go to Canada for 8 years at least, but thanks to my international study that never happened until now. Yay!


Current Music: My Bloody Valentine - Loveless

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xandydawatcher
01:47 pm - Some teh who mixed wid da limp cookie guys!
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind -green- eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind -green- eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind -green- eyes.
Current Location: wqbe
Current Mood: [mood icon] exhausted
Current Music: its actually Kylie Minogue because coachbear put it on my ipod ages ago

 

July 3rd, 2008


xandydawatcher
06:59 pm - Im bringin sexy [hair] back
Welcome back mohawk...! (Now i just need to shave!)
- many apologies to hanneymakins ... i know you dont like this haircut :P

People at work are kinda freaked out by my haircut, they keep saying i look like Mr.T ... compliment or insult? Your thoughts....

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xandydawatcher
06:59 pm - V!

V!
Originally uploaded by xandydawatcher
V lemon make me happy!

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didleysquat
08:25 pm
Would you mind if I hurt you?
Understand that I need to
Wish that I had other choices
Than to harm the one I love

What have you done now?

I know I'd better stop trying
You know that there's no denying
I won't show mercy on you now
I know I should stop believing
I know that there's no retrieving
It's over now
What have you done?

What have you done now?

I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
What have you done now?
Why, Why does fate make us suffer
There's a curse between us
Between me and you

What have you done?
What have you done now?
What have you done ?
What have you done now?

Would you mind if I killed you?
Would you mind if I tried to
Cause you have turned into my worst enemy?
You carry hate that I feel
It's over now
What have you done

What have you done now

I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
What have you done now?
Why, Why does fate make us suffer
There's a curse between us
Between me and you

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didleysquat
02:12 pm
I sincerely dislike my days off. Each time I say I'm going to go back to Linc's place to get my music and mail and I never do. I get this sick empty feeling.. I'm not sure I can go back to that place anymore. I've been trying pretty hard not to get depressed but my days off I can't think of anything else except what's happened and I just end up feeling like shit.

I don't know if I can work at dse anymore. I want my uni results so I can find out what my life is going to be like for the next six months. If I fail an exam I'm not sure I can just continue.. I might defer.

I'm so tired of hearing about how I just need to give it time, stop thinking about it, there are better men out there. Just FUCK OFF. He might have been a fucking prick but I loved him so deeply and people seem to think that someone who is 22 isn't capable of being in a long-term relationship, or you SHOULD be single, or marriage is for your thirties.

Being in a relationship requires an emotional maturity that has fuck-all to do with age, and more to do with experience and committment.

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June 30th, 2008


xandydawatcher
01:24 pm - Woah.
Coming back to work after about 2 weeks off is scary... luckily i dont work in a shit place so it was easy getting back into things. The workload is the hardest part... so.much.work.to.do.o.m.g.am.going.to.die.

Just need to put my mind into something else until Thursday, where Freud-ette has referred me to a 'real' psychiatrist in the city.

Shout out to my mother who's paying for it. I wasnt going to accept anything like that from her until i found out how much the Uber-Froid was charging. I guess sanity costs a lot?

Thanks to everyone who supplied kind words and funny pictures. They mean a lot.
Current Location: wqbe
Current Mood: [mood icon] anxious

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June 29th, 2008


wampie
12:57 pm - Movie reviews #36

Honey
 
Yes, the film with Jessica Alba as a dance instructor, and yes…I have seen it, and yes, it was terrible, and yes that was to be expected. Needless to say this film inspired some second years at my school to write a musical and that is quite an impressive thing. They based the story on the film’s premise: ‘’sometimes you have to get through the back door to get to the front’’ which of course they were not consciously aware of, but after a viewing with the class I thought I’d ask them about the meaning of the line and the American Dream. But they were not in the mood to discuss the film’s content and philosophy, but that also was to be expected.
 
In the valley of Elah
 
Tommy Lee Jones is starring in some of his best films ever laterly. He plays a former cop whose son was stationed in Iraq but after a return has gone missing from the base. When a murdered body is found he fears the worst. This story could have steered of easily into forced sappy melodrama territory about how unfair the war is and blabla, and it only does that occasionally with the unnecessary amount of strings on the film´s score, but this is written and directed by Paul Haggis and he makes sure that Jones and the other actors play very down to earth making the characters perhaps a bit boring but a lot more credible. Good stuff!
 
Madeinusa
 
A film about a small village community in the mountains of Peru who believe that for three days God is Dead so there´s a big annual celebration during which people are4 allowed to sin for three days. The meager and mundane lifestyle portrayed before contrasted with the behavior during the feast makes for quite some funny moments; however the film has a darker undertone as a village outsider passes through. He´s unable to continue on his journey as the river flooded the road so he has to wait. He’s been told by the mayor that outsiders are always welcome, the people just don´t like the (absolutely genius!), so he is locked up for his own good until he can continue on his journey. He escapes of course and he feels attracted to the daughter of the mayor. Enter dramatic plot etc. You have to see it for yourself, it’s not great but worth watching for sure. 
 
Miss Congeniality
 
When all the grades had to be handed in at work it meant that there were no more tests for the kids on the program and when they’re not working for a mark then they’re not working at all, so the last two weeks I just watched films with them. This was one of them. This could have been a good film I guess, but it has a lot of autopilot standard stuff in it. Bullock is cool though and Michael Cain is especially a joy to watch, but yeah, it just wasn’t that funny. A lack of sharp dialogue and the visual gags, well yeah, she is a dork and then a beauty saves the world by beating up the Miss America. Oh and William Shatner was in it. How weird was that.
 
Team America: World Police
 
I watched this first at home and then thought it would be a funny idea to bring it to school and watch it with the kids. When they were presented with the idea that they had to watch an animated films with dolls they rebelled in shock. Naturally this can’t be good or funny cos it has dolls in it. I was slightly disappointed as this was my favorite class with the highest cognitive thinking level, but being the dictator that I am I forced them to watch it and luckily half of the class responded well even though they didn’t get all the jokes or the best ones. However, the film wasn’t that hilarious at all. If you’re a South Park fan you’ll appreciate it more for sure and I did enjoy it.. I have to applaud the songs for they were quite funny, (America, fuck yeah ‘’bummer’’ version’’) but as with most South Park episodes lately it feels as Trey Parker and Matt Stone are wrapping things up too easily in crude offensive jokes (and the occasional brilliant one) and think that that is enough for the audience, but it isn’t. It comes across like they don’t give a shit anymore and I’ve read a lot of the negative stances this film takes as it borders on nihilism: let’s take the piss on everything and fuck it all. Well I wouldn’t say it preaches a nihilistic message, the criticism and cultural satire is certainly in there, but they’re just slacking off. 


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didleysquat
06:33 pm - The little things...
It's not being in control of what I have for dinner. It's not being able to watch what I want on tv. It's being told to do the washing up instead of doing it when I want to. It's the shit internet connection. It's having to wait until everyone else goes to bed before I can. It's putting up with my brother's idiot friends. It's dealing with my dad's bad moods. It's not knowing where any of my shit is so it takes me 20 minutes of sitting under the house going through boxes to find a fucking belt or a cd. It's not having any privacy or space of my own. It's the cold. The dust. It's not having my sound system or my music.

It's not knowing where my priorities are anymore. It's being shit scared that the whole fucked up mess may have caused me to fail my exams. It's about having the future I had thought was safe taken away from me, without my choice.

It's the fact that I'm not constantly aware of where he is. It's the ache of missing his presence. It's not coming home to someone who asks me how my day was. It's not having a second opinion for my decisions. It's not feeling safe and warm in bed with his arms around me.

Love is an addiction. I need to get it out of my skin.
Current Music: Pendulum - The Tempest

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gordybdu
06:34 pm - Until I get around to posting properly....


I <3 Joss.

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June 28th, 2008


xandydawatcher
08:45 pm - If i lay here

If i lay here
Originally uploaded by xandydawatcher
Im looking a bit bleh. Thought i would share my bleh-lookiness with the world, enjoy.

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June 27th, 2008


didleysquat
11:29 am - It's fucking unfair.
Tomorrow is what would have been our 18mth of being together. And also kinda marked knowing each other for three years. All of that has been reduced to a situation where I can't stand to be in the same room with him because I'm not sure if I want to punch him in the face or run my fingers through his hair.

Turns out I ain't got it under control. Turns out it was just because I have done nothing but work since it ended and been too tired to deal with it all properly.

Turns out I'm a fucked up swirling mixture of hurt, anger, lust, love and confusion that I can't control.

Argh fuck this. I knew what I wanted. I wanted him, I loved him more than anything. I wanted to go through life together, I wanted one day to have his little Linc Juniors for fucks sake. I thought for once I'd found a home that was going to last longer than six months before I had to pack it all up.

I had no fucking limits!

It sux being on the other side of a break up.



On a sidenote, video clips are SHIT these days. You gotta go back to at least 2005 to find some real goodies.

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June 26th, 2008


xandydawatcher
03:23 am

Image_48
Originally uploaded by xandydawatcher
*in need of a friend*
I cant pull myself out. Im going to see Freud-ette tomorrow and i want her to fix my head, but im scared she'll put me on pills. Sometimes im strong but it doesnt last long. Im weak and vulnerable and want so little in life, but what i want is too much.

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minion_lj
06:05 pm - More Genius

I got a perfect score for my lastest accounting exam. My boss suggested I enrol in uni since I'm blitzing TAFE. 

I only lost 1 mark all semester and that was due to an ambiguous question.


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xandydawatcher
12:28 am

Image_48
Originally uploaded by xandydawatcher
How about this?

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xandydawatcher
12:17 am

Image_48
Originally uploaded by xandydawatcher
I want this in a large dammit

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xandydawatcher
12:08 am

Image_48
Originally uploaded by xandydawatcher
Or this? Colours suck on me

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xandydawatcher
12:01 am

Image_48
Originally uploaded by xandydawatcher
Too emo?

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bex_is_roxor
05:38 pm - forks! om nom nom nom
not those kinds of forks actually. I've come to another fork in my life. The fork is about uni and work, or more like uni or work.
The decision i have to make is one of two, or three and has all come around because it seem like I wont get a part time testing job.

Decision A:
I stay at uni and get a part time job in retail or whatevs

Decision B:
I quit uni and start testing again

Decision C:
I quit uni start testing again and study japanese part time at tech.

Decisions are ridiculous to be honest. The only reason i have this decision is because I actually don't have any idea about what to do.


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June 22nd, 2008


xandydawatcher
07:44 pm

Image_47
Originally uploaded by xandydawatcher
Chicken and walnut salad hmmmm. Take the walnut out and it would be even better! I used to eat this everyday at work

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